endings

it was the last day of the afterschool program today. I was sad for a moment.... Maybe I'll never see these kids again? Actually, I probably won't. But they're kids, they keep moving on, and so do I.

Sentimentality overtakes me for a moment. Emotions rise in my chest. I can be sensitive. I tend devolop attachments quickly, but Time just keeps pushing me through everything. Time is a wonderful thing to trust. It's always faithfully moving us through. .. The sun will always rise tomorrow.

With friends leaving and afterschool ending, I wonder what my life will be like. I have a little anxiety about spending too much time alone. I moved to LA without knowing a soul - it was definately a learning experience. Rosendale was challenging, but ultimately ok. and DC totally sucked - three months of hell I never want to endure again.... but, New Orleans, is nothing like LA, or Rosendale, or DC for that matter. What am I anxious about?
Nothing. I have nothing to worry about. I have learned from the past. I wouldn't say I've reached a wise old age, yet... but, maybe... wiser.

My horoscope this week told me:
"William Vollman is an author who travels the world in search of crazy experiences to write about... Despite having lived the equivalent of ten lifetimes, however, he's not jaded... Vollman has "seen it all but he still hasn't lost his innocence." Your assignment right now is to achieve a Vollman-esque state of open-minded freshness as you seek out adventures that are as feisty (though not as risky) as Vollman's. It's time for you to cultivate what Zen practitioners call beginner's mind."
And I took it as a sign about how I should understand certain, recent circumstances.... However, in the past week, rather than having a "beginner's mind," I find myself relying on past experiences to guide me....
Well, as Outkast so accurately states: "horoscopes often lie." But, the week isn't over yet, maybe something will change.

whoah - I'm totally exhausted after playing in the sun all day with the kids for graduation. and then drinking beer with the volunteer tutors.
check out some new pics of water fights and pinatas:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/90112813@N00/sets/72057594126271624/
so, that's all for me. Happy Saturday. gnight.