Hope and Fear... The Future.

Wow. So, I'm back in San Francisco after being gone 4 months. It's strangely familiar and comfortable, yet foreign. Like I'm seeing it again for the first time. Its taken a little readjusting.

The first few days I found my memories haunted by ghostly shadows of a past self I had barely let slip away. I took a trip to my storage unit and was surprized to find tears behind my eyes under forgotten possessions.

Friends met me for beers and burgers at Zeitgiest.. just like old times. I was promptly hit with illness, flu, congestion and a fever. I spent the next two days in bed, resting up for my week in the desert. I need to be able to withstand harsh environments, weather fluctuation, extreme heat, bitter cold, absurd ammounts of alcohol consumption and drug intake with very minimal sleep... it's not the ideal environment for a sick person.

Today I emerged from my coma. I was able to run errands, pack my shit, decorate my bike, buy last minute supplies, costume accessories, water, food, and booze for the next eight days.

We leave early tomorrow morning for the desert.. This is my third year attending Burning Man. I went in 2002 and 2004. Each year has been an entirely new and different experience for me, so I have no idea what to expect this time around. I'm most excited to be camping with some really amazing close friends: Jason, Monica, William, Chad, Fritz...

I'm actually riding out there with Carrie, a good friend from Common Ground that I met while in New Orleans. She brought up the idea of recording our expectations and setting an intention for the week. So, I will use this space to document my hopes for the week:
.... I hope to follow my instictincts and listen to my intuitions, not to be falsely influenced by the desires of others. I hope to know I can stand strong on my own and that my moods remain indepent of others around me.. That I can give freely, that I can love and be receptive of everything and everyone around me. I hope to see without judgement and to know I am not being judged. To feel comfortable in all states of mind. To be free of all inhibitions, negative emotions, and guilt. To remind myself of all the beauty that exists in this world and in the people around me. AND To have the BEST FUCKING TIME OF MY LIFE with the Ones I Love. Bring it On!!

Wow! Even though I've been twice before, I don't even know what to expect. But I know it will be an amazing experience, no matter what happens. Well, here we go.. another adventure for the history books....