humbled

I had turned in an application at City Arts Gallery last February and finally had my interview this evening. As an Artists run cooperative space City Arts Gallery functions different then most galleries; they don't just accept slides, an artist statement and then take 60-70 % of the final sale. It's much easier to be accepted and provides an alternative showing space. You go, interview and show your work. If accepted you pay membership fees, rent out wall space and are required to work only a few shifts a year. But this is all beside the point.
My point is: today I stood up in front of a panel of City Arts members to talk about my work (something I haven't done since Women's Studio Workshop two years ago) and totally blanked.
What?!
seriously...
Well, I could say words, and stammer out brief sentences, but I was certainly miles away from my usual articulate self. I don't know what happened. I wasn't really nervous. and I've spent enough time with my work to know what it's about. I certainly know how to write about it (I got into grad school for chrissake) and I know I can talk about it (I have in the past -- hello? art school!?), I just froze in front of a group of people. I totally choked.



Luckily they judge more on the art itself rather than my horrific public speaking skills so I still have a chance (I hope) but even so, I'm totally dissappointed in myself.

So what have learned from this horrible encounter?
1) I need to think about what I want to say and how I'm going to say it, and PRACTICE before I get up in front of a group of people.... I should know this already. In fact I already DO know this, it's just been a while. So now I will really remember. always.
2) I respond better to direct questions so I should make what I'm gonna say brief and concise and then open the floor to questions.

I think that's it so far. So if I don't get this then at least it was a learning experience.

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oh and another disappointing side-note. I showed up at my first job training meeting an hour late thinking it was supposed to be at 4pm when it was really at 3pm. YUP! oooops. stoooopid. What a great first impression...

Apparently they're running behind schedule as well and will keep me informed over email when the next training meeting will be. (or I'm fired and they didn't have the balls to tell me)
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SERIOUSLY!!! I know better! I usually don't make little mistakes like this, maybe I've just been on vacation for too long. blah.